Re: I'm bad at sales pages - need input on this one

A few notes;

The page loads EXTREMELY slowly (I'm checking it from a dialup connection, which is all I have right now. It's been 80 seconds and the page is still loading.

I also suggest you forget the 'text on fancy paper' idea (and please don't change to 'white letters on black background' because if people want to print that page, the printer won't print that. The grayish letters are kind of hard to print out if someone's printing that page.

The template pick isn't a good one -- it refers to CSS (and then doesn't use it) and calls some reference to a javascript (and then doesn't use it.) This drags the page considerably.

> I wanted to come across as a bit of a jerk because, well, I kinda am one
> and the product I'm selling here is myself. I want people to know what
> they're getting here.

If the product you're selling is yourself, it doesn't come across. The style I see here is one I'd associate with a $40 ebook.

If you're selling yourself, you might want to rethink that approach. I've had to work with rude mentors and mentors who were jerks -- everybody has. It's stressful (as I'm sure you remember) and in the end you are not always sure you got your money's worth. Many folks quit and demand refunds.

Zig Ziglar might be someone to model your concept after.

> Just wondering what people's first impression is here and if this was
> something they were looking for, would there be enough there to make them
> pick up the phone and call.

No, and the reason "why not" is the price tag.

Yes, I know you're going to the upscale market and the "totally serious" market and the "if they pay a lot they will stay and work the program." Now, I'm a bleeding-heart-tree-hugging-hippie-liberal, and the ones I see who need the information and mentoring most are the moms and pops who are struggling in a job they hate, with kids to feed (or people like Carla, who have a disability and desperately need the income and the ability to work at home.) They're serious and faithful and they need information and training. But they ain't got $5k, they can't get $5k (without causing a lot of hardships).

Why not offer the book and mentorship separately and price the mentorship on a "per hour" consultation as well as a full package (book plus CDs plus bonuses plus 300 hours of mentoring) for a different price. Put the ebook-lite as an affordable version for the little guy, put a more detailed version for another price, etc?

You 100 sales at $40 comes quicker than 1 sale at $4,000.

> Or should I just take it in the typical sales page direction instead?

I hate those, personally. I think you can do something inbetween if you optimize the graphics and dump the scripts on the page that slow the loading and have no function.