Re: Steve...

Hi Rick,

> Personally, I think the copy is too dry and clinical.
> "My name is Steve MacLellan. I live in Truro. I do web development
> for businesses in the United States and work out of the comfort of my
> apartment." and so on.

RATS! I was going to put this in the paper today. Now I see I might have to make some more revisions ;-)

> Look, as a webmaster, I realize the value of what you're offering...and if
> I lived near you, I'd pay the money to pick your brain. (grin)

I thought you were going to invite me to a BBQ and get me sloshed? Of course the next day we both would have forgotten what we discussed... so we would have to do it again.... and again...

> BUT, a beginner or wannabee is looking for the "What's in it for
> me??" benefits approach.

> Take your main headline: "Give Me 2 Hours and I will Show You
> How To Make an Extra $500 Every Month Offering Your Product Or Service
> Online "

> I think you need to make it more exciting...grab the bull by the horns.

> "Money-making secrets finally unveiled in the Truro area!! Make an
> extra $500 a month or more!!"

I think that is a great headline but if you read S. Tanna comments you will see that she/he suggested staying away from a headline that is "non-specific."

The question of creating headlines reminded me that I have a copy of Russ Phelps, "7 Steps to Killer Ad Copy" so I browser through it to see what it suggests:

If the headlines doesn't hit 'em right between the eyes and arouse enough interest to keep them reading, you will not sell them

Then it goes on to give what he considers good headlines:

Here's How You Can Triple Your Reading Speed
In Ten Days Or Less Without Losing Comprehension Or Recall

Enjoy a Delicious $99 Steak Dinner For Two For Only $1
If you Reserve It Before Friday, March 13"

Get Rid of Back Pain Forever
In Six Weeks OR Less -- Guaranteed!

These are only a few of the examples, but these and the others he gives are all quite specific. I suppose one should keep in mind WHO you are targeting too. Nova Scotia is very economically depressed compared to other parts of Canada, so a more sensational headline could certainly be tested.

> Ok, you got their interest. Now hit their fears.
> "Don't be left behind...(sense of urgency) I'll come to your house
> (convenience) take you by the hand, (reassurance) and personally teach you
> step-by-step (more reassurance)the EXACT methods I use to make money on
> the Internet!!

This is a great idea. I've copied this post to a Word file for further study

> Put a dollar value on the bonuses you're giving away, including your first
> business website toolkit.

Um... The bonuses are part of a package I bought with resale rights. I don't know the price the individual items sold for. But since they are included as part of the toolkit and the whole packages sells for $29 (US currency) it equals about $36 (Canadian) so when you combine that with the 2 hours consultation it works out to equal $7 per hour, for the consultation. ;-)

> Personally?? I think you ought to get ahold of the local chamber of
> commerce. Rent a room somewhere, and set up a seminar. Get 20 or more
> people paying $99.00 each to learn your methods.

Between you and me, I considered this. The problem is, that after living away for the last 20 years, none of these folks know me from Adam. But I can reserve this option for later, if I can start getting known in this niche market.

> Think about the small businesses in your area. Most would like a website,
> but don't know how to do it. There's another seminar.

> Work-at-home moms? Another seminar.

I think I need to get known locally before I could do seminars. Quite frankly, the idea of standing up in front of a crowd scares the hell out of me. Willie Crawford wanted me to come speak at one of the seminars he was putting on and I chickened out. Yes, I know I could join a Toastmasters club to help get over this. I just haven't been able to work up the nerve to go ;-)

But this fear of crowds doesn't extend to a one-on-one situation. I'm good at selling one-on-one and have a lot of experience at it. This is how I sold advertising to local car dealers for my used car website

>Whaddya think?

I think you're full of great ideas. I will copy your post into a Word document that I can print off and refer to. Thanks Rick!