Steve...

Steve...
Personally, I think the copy is too dry and clinical.
"My name is Steve MacLellan. I live in Truro. I do web development for businesses in the United States and work out of the comfort of my apartment." and so on.

Look, as a webmaster, I realize the value of what you're offering...and if I lived near you, I'd pay the money to pick your brain. (grin)

BUT, a beginner or wannabee is looking for the "What's in it for me??" benefits approach.

Take your main headline: "Give Me 2 Hours and I will Show You
How To Make an Extra $500 Every Month Offering Your Product Or Service Online "

I think you need to make it more exciting...grab the bull by the horns.

"Money-making secrets finally unveiled in the Truro area!! Make an extra $500 a month or more!!"

Ok, you got their interest. Now hit their fears.
"Don't be left behind...(sense of urgency) I'll come to your house (convenience) take you by the hand, (reassurance) and personally teach you step-by-step (more reassurance)the EXACT methods I use to make money on the Internet!!

I can only accept blah-blah number of trainees...(sense of missing out) because my time is limited.

Now for body copy.
You bought a computer, obviously, or you wouldn't be reading this.
You spent $1,000 dollars or more...paid for Internet access...and for what? To send e-mails?? (let them think about how much their computer cost them)

I can show you...step-by-step...right in the privacy of your living room, how to turn your computer into a MONEY MAKING MACHINE! (solution to the money they "wasted" buying the computer).

Maybe they bought it just for e-mail, I dunno. BUT...I can guarantee most of them got one because they had heard how fortunes were being made on the internet. But they became intimidated. Working all day and trying to squeeze in a few hours to learn was just too time-consuming.

Keep hitting your benefits TO THEM. I think you're underpricing your talents. Hell, you ought to be getting $99.00 bucks easily for that type of personal consultation.

Remember, they will place the value of the training equal to the cost. $50.00? It'll cost them $50.00 to eat out. The more it costs, the more likely they'll be highly motivated and you'll be wasting less time.

Put a dollar value on the bonuses you're giving away, including your first business website toolkit.
Show them that they won't be losing a dime, because the bonuses are worth more than what they paid for your services.

Personally?? I think you ought to get ahold of the local chamber of commerce. Rent a room somewhere, and set up a seminar. Get 20 or more people paying $99.00 each to learn your methods.

Set up a powerpoint presentation showing step-by-step methods.

Give them a CD with the web building software and bonuses on it. (Remember? The perceived bonus value outweighs the seminar cost, so they go away happy)
Have a small lessons booklet printed, or record your session to give them a cassete tape. (Or a copy of the PP presentation)

Set up a 900 number that they can use to call you (you'll get paid for that)with their questions. Your time is valuable, right? Do you want to spend hours answering questions on the phone for free? Nope. Make them pay for it.

THEN offer the in-home extra training at $99.00 bucks an hour. The serious ones will pay.

Think about the small businesses in your area. Most would like a website, but don't know how to do it. There's another seminar.

Work-at-home moms? Another seminar.

Do a seminar on Internet security. Scare the devil out of them and give them a CD with zone alarm, ect. ect.

Not to mention personal training in office, excel, word, there's even tutoring to teach them how to surf the net!

I think you could come out smelling like a rose. There's an outfit called computer MOMS http://nyd.fransol.com/index.cfm/fa/read/resource_id/152/ that started out offering in-home tutoring for word, office, excel...programs that professionals needed to get ahead in their jobs.

The founder (a gal here in Texas, I'm proud of her!) soon became snowed under. Hired local college kids to go out and tutor the folks. She set appointments.
Grew so big, she started selling franchises just to use her name and methods...$70,000 a pop, I believe.