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We're very friendly, so don't be shy... just jump right in and post your question.
Scams outnumber legitimate biz ops about a bzillion to one, so it's well worth your time.


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FIB - Scams 101 - Ye Olde Archives

Bwahahahahahahaha!! (DNO)

Posted By: MaaMaw
Tuesday, 7 June 2005, at 5:58 a.m.

In Response To: Are you looking at the wrong MLM program? (Dennis Bevers)

> And now for a little levity to lighten up this forum, OK? I've seen this
> in some network newsletter awhile back, it's more for the typical MLM, but
> there are similarities.

> You know you've joined the wrong program when....

> the home office has parking spaces labelled "FTC, Attorney General or
> FDA reserved parking"
> the company's new tape describing the new product features Dr. Jack
> Kervorkian as the spokesperson
> your starter kit comes with an order of fries, a Coke and a small plastic
> toy.
> you're listening to the CEO talking on the nightly conference call and
> clearly hear a voice say, "Please insert another $.25 for four more
> minutes...."
> The starter kit comes with a credit-repair kit and a do-it-yourself
> divorce manual
> you visit the Goodwill store and see an entire section devoted to your
> company's products
> the top rank in your company is "Cubic Zirconium Naive Believer"
> The comp plan is a revolutionary new 1x1 matrix
> The company's slogan is "From Our Garage To Yours".
> the company's distributor application is a 3x5 index card
> the company website is hosted at Geocities and the corporate email address
> ends in @hotmail.com.
> Mark Joyner is the top rep in the company
> You get your commission check and the check number is #003.
> You see a newspaper ad selling starter kits at half price and it's your
> sponsor's phone number
> The CEO's picture shows him sitting in a Ferrari with four bikin-clad
> women parked next to a fountain in front of a mansion and he's smiling,
> holding a cellphone to his ear.
> The theme at the National Convention is "We've Been Acquitted! Resume
> Sponsoring!"
> The distributor application asks how many square feet you have available
> for monthly inventory
> you visit your sponsor at home and he has a whiteboard mounted on the all
> in his living room.
> Jim Jones is serving punch at the company convention
> You actually see your upline sponsor throwing products off a bridge (And,
> see, you just thought that was a figure of speech!)
> When your sponsor cries when you enroll
> Commission checks say "Void if not cashed within 2 hours"

> Got any more to add?

> Dennis Bevers

The Most Comprehensive Internet Marketing Course On the Planet

Messages in This Thread

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You'll find great information in this "Read Only" Archive, but remember..... things change.
Be sure to visit the Current Message Board when you're finished here.

We're very friendly, so don't be shy... just jump right in and post your question.
Scams outnumber legitimate biz ops about a bzillion to one, so it's well worth your time.



NOTICE TO SCUMBEEZLES
(you know who you are... you scream "Foul!" when the truth comes out)
        PLEASE READ THIS LEGAL NOTICE CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU FILE A LAWSUIT OR EVEN WASTE TIME THINKING ABOUT IT.  It has been done before, but never successfully.  In fact, the last dodobird who tried it ended up being ordered to pay more than $77,000 in attorney fees ($65,000+ to my attorneys and $12,000+ to my co-defendant's legal advisor).
        If your attorney is worth his salt, he's going to tell you that the expense of filing a lawsuit you can't win is a whole lot worse than any "damages" resulting from messages posted on this insignificant little chunk of cyberspace.
        NEWS FLASH:  I didn't just climb down off that ol' turnip truck yesterday.  I'm well aware that expressing a negative opinion, relating one's personal experience, and restating provable facts are all legal in this country and do not constitute libel, slander, or defamation -- so you don't want to play games with me, and you sure don't want to start something you aren't prepared to finish.  I don't take threats lightly, and I don't accept bribes (or did you call it a "mutually-beneficial arrangement"?).  I'll turn you in faster than you can yell, "ARREST ME, I'M SCUM!!" 
        Do yourself a favor and turn your legal team loose in greener pastures.

        Although we may, from time to time, monitor or review discussions, postings and the like on the Friends In Business (Scams 101) Message Board, we are under no obligation to do so.  We are not responsible or liable for any claim arising from the content of any such discussions or postings or for any error, defamation, libel, slander, omission, falsehood, obscenity, pornography, profanity, danger, or inaccuracy contained in any information contained within such locations on the Site.
        You are prohibited from posting or transmitting any unlawful, threatening, libelous, defamatory, obscene, scandalous, inflammatory, pornographic, or profane materials or any material that could constitute or encourage conduct that would be considered a criminal offense, give rise to civil liability, or otherwise violate any law.  You are likewise prohibited from posting any false claims against any company or individual.  We will fully cooperate with any law enforcement authorities or court order requesting or directing us to disclose the identity of anyone posting any such information or materials.
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        In closing, I would like to remind you once again that it is still legal, in this great country of ours, to express a PERSONAL OPINION, as long as it is presented as opinion and not as fact.
        And finally, all you scammers out there will do well to remember that TRUTH IS AN ABSOLUTE DEFENSE against charges of libel, defamation, and slander... so if you're operating just a hop, skip, and jump ahead of the law, you might want to think twice before doing anything stupid... (AND SHAME ON YOU!!).