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FIB - Scams 101 - Ye Olde Archives
Posted By: Dennis Bevers <bassco2@bellsouth.net>
Monday, 6 June 2005, at 11:19 p.m.
And now for a little levity to lighten up this forum, OK? I've seen this in some network newsletter awhile back, it's more for the typical MLM, but there are similarities.
You know you've joined the wrong program when....
the home office has parking spaces labelled "FTC, Attorney General or FDA reserved parking"
the company's new tape describing the new product features Dr. Jack Kervorkian as the spokesperson
your starter kit comes with an order of fries, a Coke and a small plastic toy.
you're listening to the CEO talking on the nightly conference call and clearly hear a voice say, "Please insert another $.25 for four more minutes...."
The starter kit comes with a credit-repair kit and a do-it-yourself divorce manual
you visit the Goodwill store and see an entire section devoted to your company's products
the top rank in your company is "Cubic Zirconium Naive Believer"
The comp plan is a revolutionary new 1x1 matrix
The company's slogan is "From Our Garage To Yours".
the company's distributor application is a 3x5 index card
the company website is hosted at Geocities and the corporate email address ends in @hotmail.com.
Mark Joyner is the top rep in the company
You get your commission check and the check number is #003.
You see a newspaper ad selling starter kits at half price and it's your sponsor's phone number
The CEO's picture shows him sitting in a Ferrari with four bikin-clad women parked next to a fountain in front of a mansion and he's smiling, holding a cellphone to his ear.
The theme at the National Convention is "We've Been Acquitted! Resume Sponsoring!"
The distributor application asks how many square feet you have available for monthly inventory
you visit your sponsor at home and he has a whiteboard mounted on the all in his living room.
Jim Jones is serving punch at the company convention
You actually see your upline sponsor throwing products off a bridge (And, see, you just thought that was a figure of speech!)
When your sponsor cries when you enroll
Commission checks say "Void if not cashed within 2 hours"
Got any more to add?
Dennis Bevers
Silent salesman that can work for your business 24/7
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