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FIB - Scams 101 - Ye Olde Archives
Posted By: Paul Bergman
Friday, 28 October 2005, at 1:57 p.m.
A friend sent this in an email today.
There will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble,
I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a
nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess
and I can get a long-term discount and senior discount price of $135 per
day. That leaves $65 a day for:
1. Gratuities, which will only be $10 per day.
2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant,
or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every
day of the week).
3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free
washers and dryers, and shows every night.
4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5
worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
7. T.V. broken? Light bulb needs changing? Need to have the mattress
replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your
inconvenience.
8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask
for them.
9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare;
if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you
to a suite for the rest of your life.
Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama
Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to
go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a
nursing home, just call me on the cell phone.
Then when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.
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