& Scams 101 Clerical Work-At-Home Scams Typing, Data Entry, Transcription, "Filling Out Forms" and other such stuff Wow. The guy who asked me what I know about a web site offering home-based data entry "jobs" (choke sputter) really opened the floodgates! I posted my feature-length reply on the message board, and after I stopped foaming at the mouth, I decided to turn my answer into an article. It just isn't sensible to target these "opportunities" by name out here on the web, because they like to threaten you with Federal Court.... but in this one itsy bitsy case, I just couldn't help myself. See, my theory is this: Pond Scum.... (and I'm not saying this particular one is Pond Scum, I'm only talking about the ones that really ARE Pond Scum, let me make myself really clear on that).... What? Oh yes.... Pond Scum already knows it's green.... (unless it happens to be the Miracle Blue-Green Algae of "Dead Doctors Don't Lie" fame, in which case it thinks it's medicine, but I digress).... and Pond Scum doesn't really like to go to court, Federal or otherwise. They just want to rake in as much money as they can for as long as they can 'til the Feds shut 'em down.... then they pick a new name, get a new mailbox, and do it all over again. So I have no qualms about sending you to the web site. None at all. Well, maybe one. If I give you their URL, you have to PROMISE to come right back here, okay? You are NOT allowed to send any money until you finish studying this lesson. (It's not that I don't think you're smart, but these things can be SO convincing. And with that official-looking insignia on the front page.... I mean, hell, I almost wrote them a check myself!) You promise? Okay then. Hang onto your hat! This is Your Big Chance To Be A Stay-Home Mom!! working for A.V.I. Data Processing Center (a Division of Nationwide Collection Services) (formerly aviathome.com).
Yes, I know the link is dead. It's 2006 now, and aviathome.com is no more. Are we surprised? Nope. Like so many other scumbeezles, their lawyers threatened me with federal court and other ugly things (the scummier they are, the louder they scream). Even though they're gone, their example lives on. I haven't changed a thing because when one dies, six more are waiting to take its place, and they're all pretty much identical if you just learn to read between the lines.)
Before I pick this "opportunity" apart line by line, I want to be sure you understand.... it is NOT unique Not by a long shot. Sometimes it's data entry, and sometimes it's typing. Sometimes you find it on a web page, sometimes you find it in your email box, and sometimes it shows up in your snailmailbox or on your fax machine. One is as bad as the other, so don't just tear up the ad and take my word for it.... I want you to take the time, right here and now, to learn to read between the lines.
Following is my assessment of this particular offer and every other one like it. I don't take this stuff lightly, being a diehard work-at-home mom who got her education in "The School of Hard Knocks and Total Financial Ruin" (if you haven't already read The Gruesome Details, now would probably be a good time).
DISCLAIMER: FEDERAL COURT JUDGE PLEASE READ! . . . What follows is my own interpretation of this type of "opportunity." I do not claim it to be fact. Absolutely not! I could be 100% wrong, and I'll be the first to admit that. And furthermore, I am only using A.V.I. as an example.... an analogy.... a "what if?" if you will. I am not implying for one minute that they are doing anything shady. It's just an unfortunate fact that SOME of the work-at-home offers that read a whole lot like theirs aren't exactly.... well, um.... real. (I'm trying to be gentle here.) Theirs could be 100% real. I have NEVER had any personal dealings with them and don't claim otherwise. I chose their offer to pick apart because it was just so darn convincing. It could be perfectly legit. (Anybody know how to write "just peachy" in Latin?)
How best to tackle this? I guess I'll quote little snippets from their web site.... will that work for you? Just to be sure I give credit where credit is due, the stuff in italics is Copyrighted stuff, owned by A.V.I. Data Processing Center (a Division of Nationwide Collection Services) (www.aviathome.com). I don't claim it as my own, are we all perfectly clear on that? Okey dokey. Let's get started:
Try this: "As a business, our efforts are to sell you our $150 package with our swiss-cheese guarantee, and by the time you catch on, you'll be SOL" (that's Sh-- Outta Luck).
Golly whiz! This sounds suspiciously like every other rip-off "Work At Home" company. Nothing original here.
That is actually a fairly logical solution. Lots of companies are doing this, my own medical transcription service included. Yup.
Allow me to expound on that a bit: "We win because of the money we soak you, our faithful suck--" oops, sorry.... "--our faithful WORKers." Wait, you ninnies! You don't expand nationally by hiring home workers nationally.... you expand nationally by getting CUSTOMERS nationally! Oh, but you're doing that, aren't you? You are selling your product (a manual and some software masquerading as a job) to national customers (masquerading as workers). Yes, I forgot that.
Yup yup yup. Every word is true. Except you can do the same thing by "incorporating people" IN YOUR LOCAL AREA. That way, you even have the opportunity to "keep an eye on them." It's amazing the way it works. Lots of legitimate companies are doing exactly that, my own included.
But you don't complete the work for THEM within an agreed-upon time. They forgot to tell you that you complete the work for THE CLIENTS YOU FIND ON YOUR OWN within the agreed-upon time. Probably. Maybe. I think. (Remember, I never said none'a dis was faxx, boss!)
Yeah, right. Limited only by how long it takes the government to close you down. (Sorry, just a guess. Oh golly.... Disclaimer!Disclaimer!Disclaimer!)
Preliminary = before we get the cash. AFTER we get the cash, on the other hand, we will gladly respond, because by then it's too late. You're trapped. But you haven't figured out yet that our guarantee is worthless (ooopsie doodle, I meant, "....that you completely misunderstood our guarantee and that makes it your problem, not ours"), and it's to our advantage to stall you as long as possible. In fact, we'll probably tell you it's your fault for expecting the Bluebird of Happiness to poop money on your head without having to work for it.
Translation:.... "Got 150 bucks?"
Shazaam!!! Are they really going to pay you $20.00 for that??? No, they're not. YOUR clients are. If you can find any. They don't have any clients. They have customers . . . You. If they really wanted people to do this easy work FOR THEM, they would have local stay-at-home moms standing in line for the opportunity. A little bitty three-line classified ad in their local paper would get them all the help they could possibly use the first time around, and after that, word-of-mouth would do it. This is basically unskilled labor, after all. Just about anybody can punch a computer these days.
Why should they? You aren't working for them, and they're never going to pay you a dime. In fact, once you get this great package of junk you can't return, you'll never hear from them again (unless they have something else to sell you, like the opportunity to become a Certified something).
And on the arrangement you make with the clients you find. If you find any.
On second thought, screw the application form. Just send the money.
Worth maybe 50 cents. (Just a wild guess.) (Disclaimer!Disclaimer!Disclaimer!)
But if we put on our thinking caps, we would realize that if we hired local people, we could send the work home with them (just around the corner even!), and if they didn't get it done on time.... well then, we'd replace 'em. It wouldn't take long to figure out if they were really interested or committed. Businesses have been hiring employees and subcontractors this way since money was invented, after all. Leave it to us to reinvent the wheel!
EWWWWWWWWW!!! Go immediately to The Anatomy of a Worthless Guarantee. Here's the noose (oops, of course I meant loophole): When you find out that all they are sending you is a pile of instructions and some software, and that you have to spend money to advertise, and you have to find your own clients and your own "assignments," and they aren't going to pay you a penny now or ever, and they misled you (maybe) (well, I really don't know) (DISCLAIMER!).... you'll decide you don't want to do it after all. Oh, you will be HOPPING MAD!!! But when you ask for your refund, they'll tell you, "No." And since there's not a damn thing you can do about it, you'll file in on the shelf with all your other Broken Dreams and Dust Bunnies. Like I said, it's the "SOL Guarantee."
The particular one I'm thinking of was in San Marcos, California, just six miles from home.... but they're all pretty much the same. I corresponded with a lady for WEEKS about it, trying to convince her not to send her money. She did it anyway and promised to tell me how it turned out. (This one only wanted 42 bucks.) Well, I never heard from her again, so I emailed her. It bounced back. I tried to hunt down the company and found out they had been shut down by the postal authorities. But I don't think the loss of their business was too hard on them.... I understand they had already opened shop in Florida at that point. Shortly after that frustrating encounter, I searched the web for anything I could find on this kind of "opportunity," and I came up with another name: Douglas Clerical. It was in a message posted by one Bob Pietruszewski. Here is the email I wrote to Bob:
Well, it's been my experience that not many people will take the time to reply when they've already lost their money.... but Bob did:
I'm still an "opportunity seeker" at heart, and I couldn't stand to let it go at that. Details! I wanted details!! So I sent off the following list of questions:
Another great reply with all the gory details. (Thanks, Bob! Not many people are willing to go to this much trouble once they've already said good-bye to their money.)
If this sounds like "sour grapes" to you.... like maybe Bob is lazy and you're not so it's bound to be different in your case.... then I suspect you're suffering from an extreme case of "Want To Believe Syndrome." Click here to read more about this common-yet-deadly ailment.
NOW LET'S GET BACK TO A.V.I. (AVIATHOME), SHALL WE?.... Did you notice they give only a box number?? Many times these crooks are nothing BUT a box number. It's probably (DISCLAIMER!) not a
home or a business establishment, but a private mailbox. (New postal regulations require everyone to show these addresses as a PMB, so it won't be so easy to fool people; that has its disadvantages to those of us who are honest, but it's bound to do some damage to the criminals, so I'm not complaining too much.)
And they don't give a phone number. They won't answer questions in advance, because if you find out what you're really getting, you aren't going to send them your money. And that'd be a real shame, since without it they've got nothing since there aren't really any clients and their business.... their ONLY business.... is (probably) (DISCLAIMER!) selling the information and the software.
Legitimate companies hire home workers locally. They NEVER EVER charge the home worker money for instructions, supplies, or "sincerity."
One exception to the "local" rule.... (and I am currently investigating another possible exception which I will be THRILLED to share on this web site when I know for sure it's legit).... are the huge medical transcription companies. They hire people all over the country because these people connect, by phone, to hospitals and clinics all over the place, and they transcribe right through the phone line, so this makes sense from a phone-bill point of view. (Generally the typist pays her own phone bill, and you aren't going to find too many local people willing to connect to a hospital on the opposite coast for six hours a day on their dime.)
Note that these companies are NOT "expanding their businesses nationally" by hiring these people nationally.... they are expanding their businesses nationally by getting PAYING CLIENTS nationally. The home workers are just there to get the work done. Without these workers, the work would not get done, the client would not pay, and the company would not make any money.
That's why they're PAYING their workers instead of CHARGING their workers.
The money comes from.... gasp!.... the clients.
HERE'S HOW LEGITIMATE LONG-DISTANCE THINGS USUALLY WORK: When you sign up to work for these big companies, you either take your computer to them and they put in all the programs you need and teach you how to work them (free), or you download what you need from the internet (free). Then you go to work.
YOU DO NOT PAY THEM ANYTHING.
You are working FOR THEM.
Doing work for THEIR CLIENTS.
THEY WOULD NOT MAKE ANY MONEY WITHOUT YOU.
The money flows ONE WAY and ONE WAY ONLY: Client to Company to Worker.
Kinda like the food chain: Here in "the burbs," the cat eats the mouse. The coyote eats the cat. It is VERY unlikely that the the mouse will eat the coyote.
(How that relates I haven't the slightest idea, but I like it so it stays.)
Remember.... NOBODY cares diddly squat about making you successful and letting you stay home with your kids. They care about their bottom line, and advertising for "national home workers" and charging them for a "job" just isn't the way real companies do it. If it were, Sears Catalog clerks would all be taking orders from home in their jammies instead of standing on their feet all day.
Whoosh!!
This one really took a lot out of me.
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